Oh my goodness…!

I haven’t updated my blog for quite sometimes. So many life events happened last few months. From the birth of my third child to the passing of my beloved father where new life begins and ended.

We were filled with joys when my little sweetie was born on 24th December last year. She came by surprised though I wasn’t ready to have another baby after giving birth to my son one year earlier. I just couldn’t get rid of the traumatic pain I endured along the process. Now I’m a busy mum with two little angels.

My family including my father came to visit the newborn. We live in Bangkok. They had to fly from Kuala Lumpur to see their grandchildren. Even though his health was deteriorating, he was excited. However, I can see that his time was closer. His body would not be able to support him for long. He had an end-stage renal failure and had to undergo continuous ambulatory peritoneal dialysis (CAPD) on regular basis. This might be the last time I see him well.

So, my husband and I planned a perfect family getaway to entertain my father while he was here. We booked a resort in Hua Hin which is just 3 hours drive from Bangkok. I cherished every moment with my father and fulfilled his needs as much as I could. We had an amazing time together and we also feasted him with succulent lobsters!

One month later I received a call from my sister, she said that our father was unconscious and in a state of coma. With my three kids, I flew to Kuala Lumpur to visit him. Our family had been informed by a physician about his critical condition. He had to be transferred from Intensive Care unit to a normal ward because he was not curable anymore. The news was devastating. Three days later he died peacefully in the early morning on 10th February 2018.

I was sad, but not for long. I was trying to be strong in front of others during his funeral. Still, I couldn’t hold my tears when seeing him for one last time. He’s gone. I will not see him anymore, forever. He will be missed dearly. Despite all the sadness, I was quite happy since I was able to spend my time and make him happy during his last days.

I recalled my childhood when my father was still a strong gentleman. He used to work with Malaysian Royal Police before changing his music career with Petronas. He was a strict father where we often had a love-hate father-daughter relationship. After all, he was always my idol to look for a perfect match. I admired him. He was a loving father and a loyal husband. He took great care of us and was always kind to my mother, for better or worse…

My mother and sisters are still in grief, but we have to move on. Life is short. For that reason, embrace and fill it with happiness. Avoid conflicts, hates, and all the unnecessary negative thoughts. I learned that not only death can come by surprise, so does life. The birth of my daughter was indeed a surprise. She is a miracle baby, life begins…

Al-fatihah to my beloved father, Ahmad Suhaimi Hashim.